Top 5 Reasons Why I Agreed To This Date

So you found my picture on my best friend’s phone and you asked for my number. You started sending me messages, which I entertained, and yesterday you asked for a date. I’m pretty sure you’ll ask why I agreed right away, so I prepared the top five answers I’ve given from my repertoire of previous dates and I’ll just pick one when I get to see your face.

5. I’m single… but I’m not interested.

Oops. Well this is my most frequently used response so don’t feel so dejected. I can say this even before you ask for the menu, or maybe a little after I get to know you better (at this age, I’m really trying to loosen my standard, so this is more likely), or, if your purse appears to be thick, I may just choose to enjoy this dinner before breaking the bad news. Of course before you leave I’ll say “it’s not you, it’s me.”

4. I’m single… well, not really.

So let’s say that I feel you don’t deserve answer #5. Answer #4 means I want to give you a little test.

If I tell you that my current relationship is not working out, how will you respond? If you advise that I break up with him and give you a chance, I might just insert #5 into the conversation. Sorry, I hate relationship wreckers. But if you tell me to think it through and try to work it out (and still offer to pay the bill though you clearly won’t benefit from it) then I just might call you a few days after tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.

3. I’m single… finally.

This response will be triggered if you start telling me about your exes and why you broke up with them. I don’t want to feel like I have a standard to follow (though I’m sure there’s a standard that I want you to follow), and that I have an obligation to please you if we decide to take this first date further. So I’ll tell you that like you, I just went through a though relationship, and as of the moment… (insert #5).

2. I’m single… again.

I probably liked you. This answer means I’m comfortable with answering personal questions from you. I rarely use this response because it reveals so much about me, and I don’t want to appear vulnerable on a first date.

If you get answer #2, I’m probably the one who’ll wait for a call after tonight.

1. I’m single… still.

This is actually more honest than response #2. If I’m fine with being single, then I will not agree on meeting you in the first place. You just have to figure that out.

Truth is, I’ve been too focused on my career, and I’m too independent for my own good. I tend to intimidate men with how smart I am, and that’s unintentional.  I swear.

Think you can break the wall?

I actually hope you do. 

~ 

For Readwave Writing Challenge: Top 5

Dear Mr. Right,

Thank you for the second glance. I know that I’m not the type that one falls for at first sight… but then you looked back. For letting your eyes linger for five more seconds, thank you very much.

Thank you for the chai tea latte you sent via messenger while I was working during lunch break. I wasted fifteen minutes contemplating whether I should accept something from a stranger, but I drank it anyway. For knowing the only drink that can soothe my nerves, thank you very much.

Thank you for that first call. The shake in your voice was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, and I could not stop smiling. For insisting to drive me home that night because of the heavy rain, thank you very much.

Thank you for our first date. I ate half your share of the baby back ribs we ordered, and you’re okay with it. For saying that I’m the most beautiful while I see a chubby girl when I look at the mirror, thank you very much.

Thank you for our first kiss. It wasn’t my first, but it felt the most sincere. You said it was yours, and joked about you preferring men. For just rolling your eyes and giving me another kiss, thank you very much.

Thank you for the VIP ticket to the Backstreet Boys concert. I was able to touch Nick Carter’s hand and it was the best birthday gift ever. For not minding me playing their songs on repeat in your car, thank you very much.

Thank you for shaking my dad’s hand. I never told you, but he was so happy that I was able to bring a man home at last. For putting a stop to a series of hidden relationships, and being the first guy who’s not afraid to be scrutinized by my dad, thank you very much.

Thank you for buying flowers for my mom on mother’s day. She’s very hard to please, and the smile she gave you was priceless. You’ve managed to make her warm up to you and it made our relationship better. For making her happy in a way that I couldn’t, thank you very much.

Thank you for doing my brother’s homework. He’s smart enough on his own, but your lazy way of doing things surprisingly made him more efficient. For loving him as your own, thank you very much.

Thank you for last night’s fight. It was our eighteenth monthsary, and I ruined it by looking so tired. I told you that I needed a break, and you did not say a single word while driving me home. For embracing me and saying you love me before you leave, thank you very much.

I woke up this morning and decided to write you this letter.

I planned on ending this with a ‘goodbye,’ but looking back only made me realize how much I want this list to go on…

Like forever.

~

A response to Readwave Writing Challenge: Thank You

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